He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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