your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize