I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Farmville is her only friend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
