I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
