sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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