dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
