i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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