Well apparently he's into motor boating.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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