Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
