i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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