Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
