My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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