Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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