If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I need a burrito and a hug.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
