I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
