so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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