he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize