Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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