You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
