I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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