I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
