I like my sex mixed with concussions.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
