how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
