You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
