No, you can still breathe under the balls.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
