It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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