I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
