I heard we made out
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
