I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
