Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid