I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A+ Viking dick