Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.