I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.