im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.