worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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