I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
