i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
