I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you traded sex for a burrito?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
