I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You did what with his pubic hair?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize