i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
