Sponge bath it is.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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