That's when you crack a 10am beer
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
