ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
