I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
