there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
