You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize