i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
