The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
