he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
