I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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