NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
