just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize