I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
