You really coming over, don't trick.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
