90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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