Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
