i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
