if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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