Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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