just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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