I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
