Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
