I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
