So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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